Quick Movie Review: Critters (1986)

Critters is the type of film that makes you want to leave your critics notepad at the door. An easy watch and fun enough to keep our minds from wandering.

The film is set in a rural Kansas town that gets invaded by aliens in the form of small furry critters, known as Crites. The creatures have escaped an asteroid prison. Two intergalactic bounty hunters who shape shift into humans they see are in charge of capturing the Crites. The audience mainly follows the Brown family who spends all night protecting themselves and their household from everything that's going on.

The movie is funny, but not quite as much as you would hope. It's quirky for sure, and has some humorous details, but the acting is actually a little too good and the characters aren't stupid for a change, so we can't even laugh at how bad it is.

Director Stephen Herek usually does a great job with the fish-out-of-water style of comedy, occasionally displayed here. A couple years later he gets to do the same with Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Critters doesn't take itself too seriously, which almost makes up for how neat and tidy it is. The writing and dialogue is deceptively clever. The intergalactic bounty hunters even develop subtly as characters from beginning to end.

At certain parts, the audience gets a limited viewpoint, perhaps for budgetary reasons, leaving us wanting more. The critters grow bigger and bigger, but we never really fully see it, which is a shame. But at the same time helps prevent any datedness by not giving us the cheap special effects that it would have undoubtedly done.

Critters feels like a B-movie, but isn't really. The film is too good for what it was set up to be, almost hurting it in the end. Perhaps it would have been better if it starred less notable actors. But the few bright and memorable moments are what keep its audience growing all these years later.

Twizard Rating: 79

Quick Movie Review: Girls Trip (2017)

Girls Trip could have easily turned into one of those comedies that gives its actors way too long of a leash when they don't know what to do with that much freedom. That's the post-Apatow world of comedy we live in. Instead, director Malcolm D. Lee knows how to harness each actor's abilities and doesn't let them riff for an unnecessary amount of time, helping with pacing despite the long runtime. 

The comedy is consistent and cohesive, never seeming like certain jokes are out of place. Impressive considering the natural flow of the dialogue with very few ad-libs. It just shows how smart the script really is and how great the actors are at delivering each punch.

The story follows four longtime friends who take a trip to New Orleans for the annual Essence Festival. At this point in their lives, the girls don't speak much anymore for a variety of reasons, both noteworthy and innocuous. Along the way, they each rediscover themselves and try to rekindle the friendship they used to have together.

Girls Trip doesn't rely on any marquee names in the comedy world to get people into the theater. And actually gives us one. Tiffany Haddish was the "it" girl of 2017 because of her performance here. And rightfully so.

The movie does what the Hangover did and what Bridesmaids was supposed to do. It gives us a cool and slick comedy that doesn't pull any punches. Adding New Orleans as the backdrop is the cherry on top.

The four girls are archetypes in a way, yes, but extremely well-understood ones. The script understands the characters it's working with as if they're real people.

Girls Trip could've easily turned into just another cameo-filled comedy--which it is at times--but never needing that to make it fun.

My only gripe is how it abruptly anchors its agenda at the end with its closing message, which is that no matter whom you marry in life, your friends should always come first. Even in a happy marriage? That might even make a happy marriage turn south. Everyone is different. Some people grow up and move on from their friends. Or friendships merely lessen as other priorities come to the forefront, like spouses and children. We might just see those friends every once in awhile for a fun weekend. But that misdirected message is delivered here as a blanket statement. A little forced, and an unfortunate end to an otherwise pretty seamless movie. 

Twizard Rating: 84

Quick Movie Review: She's All That (1999)

These types of story lines are always so painful from the very beginning. The whole movie, you can't get it out of your head that everything's going to end up very bad for everyone. The protagonist is always afraid to do the right thing. Even though failure to blurt out 2 sentences could fix everything. 

Freddie Prinze Jr. plays Zack, the most popular kid at his high school, whose equally-popular girlfriend just breaks up with him. They were a sure-fire bet to win prom king and queen. With prom coming up, Zack makes a bet with his friends that he can turn any girl into a prom queen. Even the nerdy and unpopular Laney Boggs (Rachael Leigh Cook). 

Upon looking at Cook, it seems like she's just a good-looking girl who will, undoubtedly and easily, turn into a swan as soon as you take her glasses off. And she does. But upon seeing her personality, she really does know how to act quirky and uncool. 

The filmmakers do a great job with Laney, for the most part. She stays away from the damsel in distress archetype for almost the whole movie. She falls into it once, and it's disappointing. Cook does well playing Laney as a one dimensional character, but when she gets the chance to show off her acting chops, she fumbles hard.

Her character does go through the obligatory transformation to become popular, but Laney never lets this change her as a person. She looks different, but never acts different. And she never lets the popularity go to her head. Unlike, say, characters in the movie Grease.

But the ugly duckling trope isn't what makes this movie likable. You can't help but feel like She's All That is more than just the corny teen movie it should be--with the help of solid comedic sensibilities and great out-of-the-box characters to show them off. Standouts are faded, yet self-absorbed reality TV star, Brock Hudson (Matthew Lillard), and Laney's eccentric father and brother played by Kevin Pollack and Kieran Culkin, respectively.

The film still does things like dedicating an entire scene for exposition, and trying to cram a bunch of depth into 3 minutes. But the actors go all out. They're truly convinced of the truth behind their characters, and it shows. 

This story has been done a bunch of times, and it would've been nice if this version deviated from the expected, even though I never thought for a second it was going to.

She's All That is definitely a guilty pleasure film. Which means, in this case, that we like it despite how cliche and predictable it is. Maybe because it's organically cool. Or deceptively hilarious. Or maybe because we can tell that the actual end product is exactly what the filmmakers had in mind--which is probably the most impressive thing of all.

Twizard Rating: 78

Quick Movie Review: Rush Hour 2 (2001)

As a kid, you watch Star Wars and probably have no clue what it's really about. You know its film universe is amazing and you really wish lightsabers were real. Everything just looks cool while it's happening. Rush Hour 2 is the comedy version of that. Laugh-out-loud humor and killer action sequences with a premise that doesn't matter to us as kids. As an adult, I now see the difference between Star Wars and Rush Hour. Because I'm still not sure what Rush Hour 2 is about.

I mean, I get that Detective Lee (Jackie Chan) and Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) are together in Hong Kong and that they have to track down a criminal mastermind who keeps killing people. After Google got involved, I now know that they are trying to find out who killed two customs agents at the US Embassy. There's a gang leader, Ricky Tan, who they suspect is behind it, but they're unsure. We're also unsure. But it doesn't matter. It's all really funny.

In this one, Detective Carter isn't in the driver's seat. They're not in LA, but in Hong Kong, where Carter now has to abide to Lee and his set of rules. The premise utilizes the fish-out-of-water trope to propel most of its humor early on.

Rush Hour 2 uses the same basic formula as the first movie, except it cuts out the introductions of the characters in the beginning. This time it tries to give us a more intricate story within those confines when we don't want or need one. We're given a slower execution for a shorter movie.

The filmmakers try fishing for depth when there doesn't need to be any. Contriving unnecessary drama between Carter and Lee, which seems completely out of place. They're always teasing each other when the other one screws up, so making them actually upset at one another feels unrealistic. This is a farce. We're not that invested in the characters' depth.

Tucker isn't given as long of a leash here, which is odd because his freedom is what worked so well in this film's predecessor. Instead, Rush Hour 2 relies on inside jokes from Rush Hour 1.

Even still, the jokes work. If you just watched Rush Hour 2 by itself, you would think it's hilarious. And to a degree, it is. But viewing the movie immediately after watching the first one, you might think the comedy is a little forced.

With a step down from the first movie, Rush Hour 2 still holds up well. And just like Star Wars, I liked this movie before I cared what it was about. So why not still enjoy it now?

Twizard Rating: 79

Quick Movie Review: Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Fans may be frustrated with the lack of twists and big reveals in the new Star Wars movie. But personally, I'm glad there isn't anything big. We don't want these films to merely become fan pandering. Vehicles for countless Easter Eggs with the stories becoming second fiddle. 

This is the middle act of a trilogy. It's meant to keep the story going while presenting the perfect amount of conflict and resolution, balancing both. If it tries to do too much, it risks losing its identity and any cohesiveness developed so far.

Although J.J. Abrams directed Episode 7, and is slated to direct Episode 9, it was a good choice to get Rian Johnson on board to direct this installment. 

While Abrams is a lover of popcorn entertainment that's big and full of audience-craved plot points, Johnson isn't as concerned with that. He's focused more on giving us what we actually need. He builds up momentum slowly and knows how to give us the proper climax.

Johnson also directed 2012's Looper, which I don't necessarily love, but can still appreciate. Rogue One is poetic, but doesn't really come together until the end. 

This was my fear with The Last Jedi. But since it utilizes The Force Awakens to help set up much of the story, it doesn't have to focus on that as much here. And the poeticism works well for this one as the middle act. Though I wouldn't want all of the films to be like this. I like my Star Wars a bit more popcorny--just like J.J. Abrams.

The Last Jedi starts off pretty slow. It takes place immediately after the events of the last film, and noticeably struggles to pick up the well-built momentum of its predecessor as well. Much of the first half is spent with Leia and the Resistance trying to survive attacks from the First Order. It's interspersed with Rey trying to convince Luke to train her to become a Jedi Master.

This film is also much darker than the last. We've seen now that Johnson is also a big fan of the theme of finding hope amidst despair, yet constantly reminding us of that despair. Certain moments are very potent. Use the end of Rogue One for reference.

A truly bright spot in this film is the introduction of Benicio Del Toro's computer hacker character, DJ. His moral compass points to neither good nor bad. He plays for himself and adjusts accordingly. And they brilliantly utilize him to parallel Kilo Ren--albeit a less monstrous version. Both men are capable of being empathetic and selfish at the same time. Del Toro's existence in this movie is absolutely no throwaway.

As much as The Last Jedi will pride itself on staying true to its goal of telling a solid and important story first, it still has it's fair share of surprises. Naturally though, there aren't as many. We have to remember that these new stories must stand on their own at some point too. 

As far as major plot points go, this film makes all the right decisions. It may not feel like a Star Wars film in the traditional sense, but it's a really amazing story executed at the highest mark. 

Twizard Rating: 100

Quick Movie Review: Santa With Muscles (1996)

It's no surprise that Hulk Hogan's film career never really took off. The only lines he can deliver convincingly are the ones that don't require any eyebrow movement. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger was able to make good comedies.

But sad to say, I'm not sure Schwarzenegger could have saved this one either. Though, he would have made it a little bit more funny.

The film is doomed from the start. The script is awful. There are plot holes you can drive a train through, and the dialogue is cringy--containing unique lines such as, "See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!" and "'Never turn your back on someone in need.' A friend of mine once told me that." Also, it builds up speed slower than my '88 Volvo on the freeway. You start looking at your watch a mere 15 minutes into it. Luckily though, if you stick around long enough it gets slightly better I suppose.

The movie follows Blake (Hogan), a rich and selfish millionaire who gets hit on the head and wakes up thinking he's Santa Claus. He has a sudden urge to help out an orphanage in danger of being closed down illegally. 

It's a clever concept full of potential, and actually has some glimpses of brightness shining through. But it fumbles most opportunities it has to be better, often choosing silliness over quality. 

It's one of those films where they give the strong protagonist all kinds of unrealistic powers, like the ability to throw a grown man over a 7-foot fence. It's so ridiculous. I guess we have to remember it's a movie targeted at children.

But then, why are there cops shooting RPGs at a car during a high-speed chase? 

Also, what was the artistic decision to have it set in California rather than a snowy city? That simple change would have made it a lot more Christmasy. 

Still, it has a touch of unexpected science fiction and some interesting twists that have pretty much no business in a film this poor, making it end up being way better than it starts out. Unfortunately, before these things come into the story, most viewers will have likely stopped watching already.

Twizard Rating: 48

Quick Movie Review: A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)

While sequels to movies like Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey take 25 years to get greenlit, 2016's Bad Moms begins principal photography on its followup just 10 months after its release.

In a sequel more rushed than Porky's 2, Bad Moms Christmas must've had some sort of high demand. I know I was very surprised with the first film, but in no way did I need a sequel a year later. Especially if I knew it was going to look like this. 

The premise revolves around the three main characters from last time--played by Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn--having issues with their own mothers as they visit during Christmastime. 

Of course, it wouldn't be hilarious unless their moms had putrid flaws. And the writers know this as well, which is why we get cookie cutter maternal stereotypes: the over-bearing mother who never gives her daughter any space (Cheryl Hines), the mother who neglects her daughter and only comes around to ask for money (Susan Sarandon), and the high expectations mother whose daughter can never do anything right (Christine Baranski)--all three played way over the top in the most annoying and unrealistic way possible.

But that's pretty much the whole movie. Everything the characters do or say to each other is unrealistic. The hijinks always ensues because of this. In fact, it NEEDS character responses to be impractical in order for it to exist. It merely serves to further the plot and allow the story to keep going.

Which it barely even does. Up until the last 10 minutes, nothing develops between the beginning and end of this movie. There's just scenario after scenario of the mothers doing things to upset or annoy their daughters. It's the final straw about eleven different times, yet there are no changes in the outcome or how the characters deal with it either way, because no one possesses any real self-awareness. The characters just keep getting angry, and so do we.

And it's not just the lack of development that keeps it running at snail's pace. The humor is juvenile and unfunny. So many scenes are halted by verbose dialogue that's supposed to make us laugh. We don't. When a film draws out comedic scenes for too long--which is a trend these days--it suspends any momentum that the narrative has built. But when it happens over and over again, there becomes almost no momentum to be suspended in the first place.

On paper, this movie should be good. But this proves that a film is so much more than its actors. A Bad Moms Christmas is a complete waste of its talents.

There are countless comedies that are forgettable, yet still give us one or two memorable moments. They won't ever be considered classics, but they were never trying to be. You have to take them at face value. However, even at face value, this one is way below par. 

Twizard Rating: 41

Quick Movie Review: Murder On the Orient Express (2017)

There aren't nearly enough murder mysteries made these days. They're fun, but I get how they're difficult to execute. In these kinds of films, you have only the facts to look at. Whereas, in real life, you can look at if someone seems like they're lying. In a movie, everyone is lying because they're all actors. You can't solve it from that. So the clues are all given in what the audience--and, in this case, the detective--knows, and nothing else. 

Fortunately, we're all on the same page in this one. Often times, the filmmakers have to give the on-screen detective some bit of information that we don't get to know, in fear that we might solve it before we're supposed to. But here, it's not a crap shoot because we can still figure it out if we really think about it. Yet, we still don't--unless we already know the story.

I suppose, however, that in these instances, the film is most enjoyable for those who haven't read the book or watched any previous adaptations. Because the best part, still, is the mystery and the conclusion, itself. If one already knows the outcome, then they are looking at other things. For me, I didn't know the story, so with fresh eyes, I thought it was truly well-executed. Though, by others' standards, maybe it won't quite live up to its predecessors. Taking on a project of this nature, you can't please everyone.

The movie starts off a little slow as our main character, detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh), is being established. We get to see him solve a case, meet with some friends, and then eventually get a telegram requesting his help solving a case in London. His friend gets him the last room left on his train, the Orient Express. 

The murder on the train doesn't occur until almost the 40 minute mark, but then it significantly picks up the pace from there without losing its identity or tone established before. 

Details pile up, but the dialogue is so fluid that it's pretty easy to follow unless you're not a fan of movies with a lot of talking.

Where it gets the most confusing, no matter what you like, is when the dialogue relies too heavily on the characters' names to let us know what's going on. There are about a dozen other passengers on the train that help make up this ensemble cast--which includes Josh Gad, Johnny Depp, and Judi Dench, to name a few--and it gets hard to keep them all straight at first. But eventually we catch on.

When watching a whodunit, there is always this inherent fear that the conclusion won't be worth the time you spend waiting for it. However, this story is one of the most famous mysteries for a reason. It's really clever. And as someone who has had no exposure to any Poirot in his life, this film has made me a fan. Now I want to see more. This is my own benchmark.

Twizard Rating: 98

Quick Movie Review: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

I sure wish writer-director Martin McDonagh would make more movies. He only has three, but they're all highly regarded. His 2012 film, Seven Psychopaths, is one of my all-time favorites.

His newest movie revolves around Frances McDormand's character, Mildred, renting three billboards outside of town in order to put a message on them criticizing the local police chief, Bill Willoughby (Woody Harrelson), for not solving the case of her daughter's rape and murder. 

This plays with our own gut reactions, as we quickly shake our heads assuming that this must be another result of a corrupt system. It's not. Willoughby actually becomes the film's best character, grounding it and providing the one true conscience amidst everyone else's anger and lack of forgiveness. You could make a case that he's the real protagonist.

Much like in Seven Psychopaths, Three Billboards is character driven, but in a way that incorporates their actions as well as their given depth. They all have faults and make terrible decisions, but their peer's counter-decisions is what changes them--even if their peers aren't doing great things either.

Most of the characters are neither good nor bad. Much like most of us, they have their vices AND their virtues. McDonagh could have followed this sentiment with showing them, at the end of the day, being completely changed in every aspect. But he doesn't. Because it's never that easy in real life. It's never that black and white. 

The key to fully appreciating this movie is knowing when Mildred is wrong even when it's portrayed that she isn't. She's always talking all high and mighty. It's like arguing with a guy who thinks that just because he's yelling, using big words, and sounds intelligent that he's right.

The reason why Three Billboards is such a brilliant film is because McDonagh understands film formula so much that he knows how to perfectly subvert it without alienating his audience. It allows so much more to happen in a smaller amount of time. Much like Hitchcock used to do, he prevents everything from being streamlined or foreseeable, while at the same time not letting it become jarring. The abrupt tonal shifts are completely intentional and meant to be a simile for real life.

Sam Rockwell plays an extreme cop who handles situations with violence because he thinks he can always get away with it. Rockwell's mercurial demeanor that he brings to many of his characters fits so perfectly with McDonagh's style--which draws comparisons to the Coen Brothers (but with more warmth and realistic endings).

McDonagh has a love for the politically incorrect. He likes to draw humor out of situations that shouldn't ever be funny. You might not laugh at first if you're in a room with others because you're unsure if you're supposed to. Often times the joke is surrounded by very serious context. It's because he knows that the best humor is rarely in the well-scripted dialogue, but in scenarios that are true to life.

McDonagh does well to keep his own ideals and agendas out of the movie. Though he slips up once in allowing his anger to enter in through Mildred when she rants about how priests should have culpability like the Blood and Crip gangs have in Los Angeles. It's an odd choice for a person of power in this industry to promote culpability laws in his movies--especially at a time like this in Hollywood. 

With that said, Three Billboards is truly a brilliant film, and another reminder of why McDonagh should have more than just three movies.

Twizard Rating: 100

Quick Movie Review: Risen (2016)

To provide a totally new point of view for an extremely well known story is not only unique, but incredibly welcomed. It sure serves this Biblical-themed film well, as we get an entirely different perspective of the resurrection of Christ.

Pontius Pilate's right hand man, Clavius (Joseph Fiennes), must oversee the death of Jesus (Cliff Curtis) on the cross, as well as his rumored rising from the dead. The latter of which is insisted upon out of fear from the Jewish high priest.

In most Christian-influenced films, these antagonists-turned-protagonists already have a good-guy demeanor about them from the very start. You know he's going to have a change of heart, and it's just not believable that he would be that bad of a person. Fiennes totally bashes all of those stereotypes. His adamance is true in the beginning, and so is his conversion.

If you haven't seen the movie yet, or are really bad at figuring out what's going to happen, then stop reading. But what Risen does best is not making everything so black and white. Clavius isn't 100% gung-ho with this whole discipleship by the end. He's heading that direction, but he's still processing things. He just saw a guy come back from the dead, for Heaven's sake! (Pun intended).

While most faith-based films are very serious--often times taking themselves a little too serious--Risen has a bit more levity. Not too much as to alienate its truest followers, but just enough to grab the attention of the more indifferent. And the jokes aren't corny at all. In fact, they're always very much deserved each time.

If you think this film will be boring, you are mistaken. It's spiritual with good moral direction, but also comes fully equipped with chase scenes and gumshoe tropes. After all, Clavius is doing all that he can find a dead body that's gone missing.

Risen hearkens back to the classic Biblical epics of Hollywood's golden age--in a positive way only--without ever losing its fresh sensibilities. But unlike those old movies, this film knows what it's doing at all times--even when it comes down to the race of each character. It doesn't just throw a bunch of stereotypes at you. Everything is happening for a purpose.

The filmmakers know that most of its audience isn't going to be so credulous--and don't want them to be--so what we get is a brilliant reification of historical events to the point that even the most doubtful viewer may stop and reconsider.

Twizard Rating: 97