I survived the Star Wars Holiday Special. If you've ever hear word that it's terrible, that's no exaggeration. It's a TV movie, but I use to word "movie" loosely. About 10% of it is actual coherent plot. The rest plays out more as a variety show with pointless segments and musical numbers scattered randomly throughout.
The overall premise follows Chewbacca's Wookie family as they wait for him to return home for Life Day (the Wookie version of Christmas), but he is nowhere to be found. We, the audience, know that he is battling TIE fighters with Han Solo on his way home. Additionally, the Galactic Empire is searching homes for members of the Rebel Alliance.
Because there's such little plot, and it's a very simple concept, it shouldn't be this hard to understand what's going on in the movie. It doesn't help that none of us speak Wookie (even the characters in the movie can't understand what they're saying). The scenes without any humans, which constitute the majority of the special, are incomprehensible and borderline unwatchable. According to writer, Bruce Vilanch, he had wanted many of these scenes cut due to the fact that the audience can't understand the Wookie language. George Lucas insisted that they remain. Turns out Vilanch was right, as it's not only incoherent, but in a holiday special that's supposed to be jovial, we can't even smile or laugh at what's happening. But I'm not sure it would matter anyway, as even the jokes that are told by humans have terrible delivery.
Even the music numbers can't be looked at as a pleasant break from the insipid journey through the Star Wars universe. They're extremely plodding and lack any real character besides being hypnotic. At one point, Diahann Carroll performs some odd erotic piece which may make this the most uncomfortable holiday special in history--along with the most boring. I think when they torture prisoners they make them have to stay awake through the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Lucas couldn't even get all the characters in the same room together. Every major actor's scenes are filmed remotely, except for Harrison Ford's. It's a film that is said to feature Darth Vader--even though he literally only gets 4 seconds of screen time (which I'm pretty sure was just a cut scene from A New Hope).
The only highlight is an animated short halfway through that features the first on-screen appearance of Boba Fett. And that's not all, the storyline is pretty good also. It makes you wish that the whole special was just animated.
The Star Wars Holiday Special wouldn't have been nearly as bad if it was only an hour maybe. But 90 minutes is just ridiculous (2 hours including commercials). And you can't say that it's even bad in a funny way. It's just flat-out painful. I love Star Wars as much as the next guy, but there's no wonder why George Lucas wanted all of these destroyed.
Twizard Rating: 32
The Night Before is as flippant and goofy as any Seth Rogen helping, but just like every Christmas movie, it's deeper than meets the eye. It's about something more than Christmas. Christmas is just the nucleus that helps give significance to a story about self-discovery. And even Rogen's irreverent humor can't change that.
The film follows three best friends, Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Chris (Anthony Mackie), and Isaac (Rogen), who get together every year on Christmas Eve to raise a little hell. The tradition started years earlier following the death of Ethan's parents. This being the last year of feral fun for the guys, seeing as they are grown-ups now with increasing responsibilities, they try to make it the best one ever.
There's not much to the plot other than a very generic concept, but that's not why our butts are in the seats. We really just want to see Rogen and company's antics as they run uninhibitedly throughout Manhattan.
While it seems at times like this movie serves as just another excuse for three actors to mess around while making a movie for us to sit and watch for 101 minutes, that's what these romps are all about. We like watching them simply have a good time. We want a night like this where crazy things happen and we can talk about for the rest of our lives. These films serve as vessels for us to live vicariously through. And we're okay with that. It's an added bonus that it happens to have the backdrop of everyone's favorite time of year; a time of year that we romanticize more and more as we grow older--mostly because we long for that childlike innocence and simplicity of our youth. And it's interesting to witness amidst the crudity of a Seth Rogen film.
If nothing else, this film proves once again that Rogen can make anyone funny. His humor is contagious and motivates others to match his wit. On an unrelated note, Michael Shannon nearly steals the show as the spectral Mr. Green. He's mysterious and totally believable as the older scraggly pot dealer who keeps these guys continually paranoid throughout the film.
The film isn't perfect. It has its slower moments, but those also happen to be when the narrative picks up and we aren't as concerned about sustaining our laughter. Some plot devices show up merely for comedic effect and don't contribute much to the movie, but that's okay because it's that kind of comedy. And although this one doesn't get a pass to break all the rules, the filmmakers have crafted that type of movie.
There's a final realization copout that's forgiven with the satisfactory ending that follows, but the beauty of this movie is the chemistry of the core cast, which occurs through the empty script and heightened improvisation.
It's a good Christmas movie. It's not for the whole family, but it's a more unique addition to the genre. One that's definitely worth multiple viewings.
Twizard Rating: 84
Every once in awhile, we will get a Christmas film that becomes synonymous with the holiday for us. Each person has their own. My two are The Santa Clause and Home Alone. Most everyone I know loves the former, however Home Alone might not be for everybody. Some say it's corny, silly, and ridiculous. Honestly, I think it holds up pretty well for a film that's 25 years old. We were more tolerable of idiotic characters back then, and somehow when we watch a film from those years we become more tolerable again. Home Alone may walk a fine line between family entertainment and crudeness, but that's what makes it unique. Growing up in the '90s, this film wasn't bad enough to have my parents restrict me from watching it like they did with The Simpsons, but it wasn't The Brady Bunch either. Although it involves a family that shows complete disrespect towards each other, it does provide reverent family lessons that can be taken with us. It teaches us how to forgive--albeit too easily in Kevin McCallister's case--and it teaches us that facing our fears helps us to grow.
If I were Kevin, I wouldn't have really missed my family at all. I feel like the first 20 minutes that we see his family interact with him are a pretty good indication of how they treat him all the time. The amount of terrible parenting decisions and enabling that occurrs is enough to make the audience hate his family and NOT want them to come back. In fact, the only reason why he misses his family is because his life is on the line and he just wants some familiar faces. We forget that they are terrible and he has no business missing them. He would have done just fine with Old Man Marley keeping an eye out for him.
The movie is full of plot holes and laughable head-scratchers, and the adult characters all use the same word bank. The events in this film are all pretty ridiculous, but hey! It's 1990!
I have a blast watching this movie and never stop smiling when it's on. It's a really fun film, and the music is perfection! Love it or hate it, you always wished you had the chance to rig your house like that.
Twizard Rating: 90
